How To Feel Happier In The Long Run By Doing What Doesn't Come Naturally

>> Friday

You can improve your mood by using a principle from the book, See Her Smile, which was written for men, but in this case, the principle applies to both sexes. The idea is that there are five "love languages" and each of us favors one or more of them. And if your significant other favors a different one than you, it's a good idea to recognize it and alter the way you express your love so your loved one actually feels loved by you.

Because we favor one love language, it feels like the only way things can be, but if someone favors "words of affirmation" and the other favors "physical touch" (those are two of the love languages), then it is possible for both of them to rarely feel loved in that relationship. Each make "know" they are loved, but not feel loved.

To explore this further, read the article, The Five Love Languages.

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Relieve City Stress

MEDITATION can compensate or substitute for the deep peace one gets in a natural setting (like being in the woods, in the mountains, or on a deserted beach). The sounds and appearance of natural settings are soothing and comfortable. It is the environment the human organism is evolved to deal with. Change it to buildings and cars and strangers and time pressure and polyester and lots of extra mental and emotional stimulation from music and television, and the organism — your body and mind — is out of its element. And it reacts by gearing up. Cortisol and adrenaline start flowing and keep flowing without a break.

In a natural setting, it would not be all peace and harmony, of course. There would be times of great danger, of fear and anger. But in between, the body would have the opportunity to settle down again and rejuvenate in a natural setting.

That's what meditation provides for the city dweller. It is a way to compensate for the unnatural setting we live in. And it works.

If you don't get enough peace, you suffer. Stress has a thousand ways of showing up. And each one of those ways can be seen as a symptom of a "calmness deficiency." Like a vitamin C deficiency, the body can cope for awhile, but then the deficiency starts to show its negative impact.

If you can't take plenty of walks in the woods, or if you don't live near a quiet desert, or if you don't live out in the wilderness, you will need to compensate for your unnatural situation. Meditation is what you need. Meditate and you fulfill your requirement for calm. And what do you know? All kinds of healthy side-effects (reductions of the symptoms of stress) show that those symptoms were from a lack of moments of calmness and peace.

You don't have to be peaceful all the time to satisfy your need for calm. You just need enough of it. Daily meditation can provide that for you.

Read more: Everything Goes Better With Relaxation.

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Resources For Feeling Good

>> Thursday

I have another web site, and I've had it for about 12 years now. Over time I've been able to see which features of the site are used the most, and I'd like to share two of them with you. One is a fun thing to turn others onto, called "Bite-Size Tastes." They are very short items with titles that evoke curiosity. Here are a a couple of examples:

Enhance the quality of your life using a technique developed in one of Hitler's concentration camps.

How can you improve your health without spending money or breaking a sweat?

This page is something you can share with people who don't normally read self-help stuff, and it might might make them interested in reading more.

The other resource is to help you in your ongoing and noble quest for a better mood. And I call it noble because while miserable people may see your quest for a better mood as selfish or self-indulgent, you know moods are contagious. And when you are in a better mood, people around you will feel better too. It's good for everyone.

Anyway, back on track: The name of this second resource is "Immediate Relief." It is a list of negative emotions or troublesome situations, and each one is a link to take you to a short article that will help you rise up out of that particular negative feeling or circumstance. Pretty handy.

Check them out:

Bite-Size Tastes

Immediate Relief

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Feel good more often and become more effective with your actions. Check it out on Amazon: Self-Help Stuff That Works.

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