Principles of Happiness

>> Friday

The BBC once called me and asked me what I thought were the most fundamental principles of happiness. My answer was a short list.

Lots of things can have an influence, but very few things can make a fundamental difference. One of them, for example, is how you explain setbacks to yourself right after they occur. The way you do it can completely change the course of your life.

To see the list, click here: Basic Principles.

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Be a Good Listener: The Nuts and Bolts of Emotional Support

>> Monday

I once translated a research paper by Brant Burleson into plain English because I think his work is so important. Most people don't realize how important it can be to someone you love to listen well, especially when they are troubled by something.

If you listen well, it can really help your loved one. If you don't listen well, it can cause them more trouble than if they'd never talked to you.

Find the secrets Burleson uncovered: How to Listen in a Way That Helps.

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End Arguments Quickly and With Less Damage

>> Thursday

Did you know the couples researcher, John Gottman, found out that when you are upset and your heartbeat goes over 100 beats per minute, you stop being rational?

That means it is pointless to continue arguing because you're not thinking straight.

That's not very high. Check your heart rate next time you're upset. To learn what you should do when you're in an argument with someone you love and you've reached an impasse, read this article: Bypass the Impasse.

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How to Make Good Decisions When You're Upset About Something

>> Monday

It's not a good idea to make decisions when you're angry. You should calm yourself down first. Put off the decision until you get a chance to think about it when you feel calm and relaxed.

John Gottman, the researcher, found that when your heart rate goes over 100 beats per minute, you become unreasonable. If you check your pulse when you're angry, you will discover 100 beats per minute is not very high.

So when you're angry, you're not reasonable, and your decisions won't be reasonable. They will be extreme and unbalanced in some way.

Find out more about this in the article, Calm Decisions.

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Continually Finding Balance But Never Achieving It

>> Sunday

Everyone knows you need balance in your life, right? But not everyone knows that balance isn't something you achieve. It is something you continually find and lose. The only question is, "How soon will you find it again?"

To learn more about how to find your balance, read this article: Happiness and Time.

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