Master the Art of Being Yourself

>> Wednesday

People say it all the time: Just be yourself. But what does that mean? And how can you do it? What stops it?

You can't be yourself deliberately. The way to do it is by stopping not being yourself. In other words, you have to stop doing something, not start doing something.

Read this article to find out how it is done: How to Be Yourself.

Read more...

How to Get Closer to Your Mate

>> Sunday

Brant Burleson is a researcher who has spent his lifetime studying listening. What he found is life changing.

He came up with ten rules that will help you get closer to someone you love.

Find the list here: How to Get Closer in a Conversation.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Principles

>> Tuesday

We have five principles for getting more connected to the people you love. The first principle is, of course, being in the same room at the same time, or on the phone. Being in communication, and being in circumstances that lend themselves to communication (not in a loud place, for example).

To learn the five principles and how to use them, read this article: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Divulgence

>> Saturday

To be close to someone, he or she has to know you. For you to be known, you're going to have to reveal yourself, divulge yourself. What do you want? What do you like? What makes you angry? What scares you?

To whatever degree you don't share these truths about yourself, to that degree you are not known, and to that degree you will feel distant rather than close.

Find out more: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Listening

>> Thursday

How hard could it be to listen, right? That must be the easiest thing in the world. But if you want to listen in a way that develops a feeling of closeness, listening has to be done a certain way.

Researchers have found certain things you can do that help. One of them, for example, is to avoid giving advice.

To find out more, read this article: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Focus On Feelings

>> Tuesday

There are a lot of things you could talk about. Most of them don't make people feel closer to each other. But talking about what you feel about circumstances, about other people, about the future...really about anything...will bring you and the person you're talking to closer.

So when you talk to someone you want to be closer to, focus on feelings. Reveal yours and ask about theirs.

Learn more about this: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Intention

>> Friday

What you intend during a conversation will either bring you closer or push you apart. And your ability to hold onto your intention to become closer, even when the conversation becomes heated or boring or confusing, is what makes the difference.

This is something you can improve with effort. You can hold your intention longer. You can clarify your intention better.

Learn how to do this: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Meetings

>> Monday

Some situations are well-suited to good conversations. Some aren't. This physical aspect of feeling closer to people is the first of five principles for connecting. And it is the most overlooked.

People try to get closer to each other in loud bars or during football games or while the house is full of relatives. The noise and distraction are a physical barrier to getting closer. Learn what else is important and how you can create better opportunities to connect: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

Feeling Connected With People You Love: Introduction

>> Thursday

Your closeness with other people has a huge impact on your mood. If you want to raise your mood solidly in the long run, getting closer to the people you love is the best way to do it. And also the most difficult.

But we've compiled five principles that clarify the situation and make it easier to do. Read the introduction to cultivating closeness here: How to Cultivate Closeness.

Read more...

How To Improve Difficult Family Relationships

>> Tuesday

There is a good reason to improve difficult family relationships: It has a big influence on your mood. And your mood has a big influence on the moods of people you know, and affects your health.

You might think I'm going to recommend forgiveness and forgetting slights. I will recommend nothing of the sort. The surest way to improve difficult family relationships with with honesty. But it has to be done a certain way. Find the key here: Attitudes and Kin.

Read more...

Principles of Happiness

>> Friday

The BBC once called me and asked me what I thought were the most fundamental principles of happiness. My answer was a short list.

Lots of things can have an influence, but very few things can make a fundamental difference. One of them, for example, is how you explain setbacks to yourself right after they occur. The way you do it can completely change the course of your life.

To see the list, click here: Basic Principles.

Read more...

Be a Good Listener: The Nuts and Bolts of Emotional Support

>> Monday

I once translated a research paper by Brant Burleson into plain English because I think his work is so important. Most people don't realize how important it can be to someone you love to listen well, especially when they are troubled by something.

If you listen well, it can really help your loved one. If you don't listen well, it can cause them more trouble than if they'd never talked to you.

Find the secrets Burleson uncovered: How to Listen in a Way That Helps.

Read more...

End Arguments Quickly and With Less Damage

>> Thursday

Did you know the couples researcher, John Gottman, found out that when you are upset and your heartbeat goes over 100 beats per minute, you stop being rational?

That means it is pointless to continue arguing because you're not thinking straight.

That's not very high. Check your heart rate next time you're upset. To learn what you should do when you're in an argument with someone you love and you've reached an impasse, read this article: Bypass the Impasse.

Read more...

How to Make Good Decisions When You're Upset About Something

>> Monday

It's not a good idea to make decisions when you're angry. You should calm yourself down first. Put off the decision until you get a chance to think about it when you feel calm and relaxed.

John Gottman, the researcher, found that when your heart rate goes over 100 beats per minute, you become unreasonable. If you check your pulse when you're angry, you will discover 100 beats per minute is not very high.

So when you're angry, you're not reasonable, and your decisions won't be reasonable. They will be extreme and unbalanced in some way.

Find out more about this in the article, Calm Decisions.

Read more...

Continually Finding Balance But Never Achieving It

>> Sunday

Everyone knows you need balance in your life, right? But not everyone knows that balance isn't something you achieve. It is something you continually find and lose. The only question is, "How soon will you find it again?"

To learn more about how to find your balance, read this article: Happiness and Time.

Read more...

Subscribe

Subscribe to the Moodraiser newsletter, delivered free to your inbox. Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Moodraiser Archive

Feel good more often and become more effective with your actions. Check it out on Amazon: Self-Help Stuff That Works.

  © Free Blogger Templates Wild Birds by Ourblogtemplates.com 2008

Back to TOP