End Worry With This Powerful Technique

>> Monday

Bertrand Russell, the mathematician and philosopher, used a technique on himself to prevent worry, and he recommended it to others in his book, The Conquest of Happiness. "When some misfortune threatens," he wrote, "consider seriously and deliberately what is the very worst that could possibly happen. Having looked this possible misfortune in the face, give yourself sound reasons for thinking that after all it would be no such very terrible disaster."

Of course, most of us would say, "But it would be a terrible disaster!"

Bertrand Russell anticipated this remark. He goes on to say that there are good reasons to honestly assert it might not be so bad: "Such reasons always exist, since at the worst nothing that happens to oneself has any cosmic importance. When you have looked for some time steadily at the worst possibility and have said to yourself with real conviction, 'Well, after all, that would not matter so very much,' you will find that your worry diminishes to a quite extraordinary extent."

I'd like to point out two things here. He said to look at the worst possibility "for some time." This is not a technique to do for ten seconds. Give it some time. If you really want to ease your worry, it will take a little time.

Also, he said when you can say to yourself it doesn't matter, and say it with real conviction, he does not mean pretending to say it with conviction. He means actually having looked at it enough to be able to legitimately say it really wouldn't matter that much.

He has a little more to say about the technique: "It may be necessary to repeat the process a few times, but in the end, if you have shirked nothing in facing the worst possible issue, you will find that your worry disappears altogether and is replaced by a kind of exhilaration."

This is an effective technique. It actually works, and surprisingly well. Dale Carnegie took the technique one step further and said, "Then try to improve on the worst," which I think most people would do anyway. But you can't skip ahead to improve-on-the-worst part and expect this technique to work. You have to go through a truly honest appraisal of what the worst would be and how bad that would actually be, until you realize with full conviction that even the worst wouldn't be that bad.

If you really do this exercise, you can really and truly cure yourself of a particular worry, and ease the strain on your system that the worry has been causing. To learn more about this technique and how to use it, read: The End of the World.

Adam Khan is the author of Antivirus For Your Mind: How to Strengthen Your Persistence and Determination and Feel Good More Often and co-author with Klassy Evans of Viewfinder: How to Change the Way You Look at Things.

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Complimenting Others Makes YOU Feel Good

>> Saturday

Study after study has shown that the most consistent source of good moods is hanging out with other people. Today I have a little tip that will help make your moments with other people even more enjoyable.

The idea is simple: Keep your eye out for something you really like about the person you're talking to, and say it. I know this isn't earth-shattering advice, but it is something we all need to be reminded of because if we don't make any effort to do otherwise, the natural orientation of our minds is noticing what's wrong.

The human brain has a negative bias. You can read all about that here. Because of that, you have to deliberately try to notice what you like or your attention will be dominated by your own brain's negative bias. This effort is completely worth it, however, because it will boost your mood and the other person's mood as well.

So today, try an experiment. Give five good compliments before this day is done. Make sure what you say is true and specific. Phony flattery is unnecessary. If you look, you will find plenty you can honestly acknowledge. And be specific about what you like because then the person can't reject your compliment. If you say, "You're really nice," they might think of all the times they weren't nice, and reject your compliment in their minds. But you could be more specific: "You were very kind to that old woman. I like that about you." This honest, specific statement is much harder to reject, which means it can penetrate their heart and make you both feel good.

One bonus side-effect of your effort is that you will keep your attention on more pleasant things while you're looking for what you like. It's a great way to raise your mood.

Adam Khan is the author of Antivirus For Your Mind: How to Strengthen Your Persistence and Determination and Feel Good More Often and co-author with Klassy Evans of Viewfinder: How to Change the Way You Look at Things.

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